That proved to be way more tangential than intended. Anyways, as I was saying, I really wanted to write about our Berlin adventures, but I just, sigh, can't muster the strength for it. You see, I'm depressed. Celebuzz reports that, while promoting his new film, Water for Elephants, Robert Pattinson has been spotted in Berlin this past week,
A is where we ("we" being my family and I, not RPatz and I, SIGH, don't rub it in) spent a fair amount of our time, visiting monuments and museums and whatnot; B is Bocca di Bacco, where Robert Pattinson was spotted having dinner; C is the hotel where we (again, SIGH) stayed. As you can see, not that far away. All I want to do is go on a Diet Coke bender and viciously hiss Fiona Apple songs into my hairbrush, which is approximately how I dealt with all high school-era boy-related issues (WHY DOESN'T HE LOVE ME???????), but I owe it to you, my faithful readers, to give a report on Berlin, albeit a sad, pathetic one. So, here you go:
We went to Berlin last week. It was nice. The hotel at which we stayed gave us complimentary bottles of
champagne served in top hats. Would've been nice to share a bottle with RPatz. I bet he looks good in a top hat.
We arrived into Berlin pretty late, for fortunately still had time to fit in a visit to the DDR Museum. It was good, albeit swarming with sticky-fingered little monsters. I learned that the SED diluted the coffee in East Germany to half its strength with barley, rye, and chicory.
Maybe it's a good thing Robert Pattinson wasn't there, because German cuisine is very...hearty, and I would have hated for him to see me consume such unladylike foods. Breakfast: scrambled eggs and cheese with baps. Lunch: sour cream-smothered baked potato (I could only finish half of it. What has become of me? I bring great dishonor to my family name), a few bites of pretzel, and a Weiss Bier. Dinner: mushroom caps gratinée stuffed with creamed spinach, topped with cheese, and covered in more cream, or something. And, of course, a Weiss Bier. Man, that stuff is good.
We also went on a Segway tour. It was fun. Touristy, but fun. That's what family vacations are for, though, right? Our tour guide, who was fantastic and totally inspired me to apply to be a Segway tour guide in DC this summer, led us around to all of the most famous and beautiful spots in Berlin:
Woah, how'd that one get in there?
*Actually, I'm not sure how tall Snorz was. His grave could in fact be quite large.