Sunday, April 17, 2011

I Would Love to Hear an Anglophone Canadian Pronounce "Poutine"

Fact: Canadians have discovered the cure for the common hangover:

Poutine. Yes, what you are looking at is a pile of fries topped with melted cheese and some unidentifiable Québecois gravy. It is delicious, and yet, revolting. It is salty, greasy, fatty, and incredibly absorbent. You have to use a fork to eat it because the fries are so smothered in sauce. It holds a place of its own in the Drunk Foods world in that it has no redeeming nutritional qualities; at least you can justify to yourself the next morning that falafel is full of fiber and protein and that pizza kind of contains tomatoes, which are full of healthy lycopenes. As a champion enabler, I can find the silver lining of any food decision, except for poutine. It is starch topped with cholesterol covered in sodium. And you know what? It is a lifesaver. It's like poutine contains anti-hangover particles which seek out the hangover particles in your body and collide to annihilate one another. I know that this is how science works because I watched The Universe all last summer and read half of Brian Greene's Elegant Universe before my brain started short-circuiting and I decided to watch an America's Next Top Model marathon instead. Self-preservation, you know? Don't judge me. Anyways, now we know why Canadians are always so damned nice: lack of hangover, and the pride of knowing that Ryan Gosling calls your country home.

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