EuroTrip

November 27-29: Stockholm

So excited to see Drottningholms slott and the rest of the royal grounds, even if King Carl XVI has allegedly had massive orgies in celebration of successful elk hunts and Mafia-run sex parties. I feel like that just comes with the territory of being both a king and King.

November 30-December 6: Amsterdam

Speaking of kings, Amsterdam itself might be great, but the main attractions here are Claire and Thomas. Shenanigans will prevail.

January 6-11: Barcelona

Average temperature in January: 55 degrees Fahrenheit. This is an exponentially better choice than Norway, the original destination.

Christmas and New Year's in Gothenburg

I'm also hoping to fit in a quick trip to Berlin and Wittenberg in December for a bit of a religious pilgrimage. Luther and I go way back. I played him in our church's rendition of the history of the Reformation (still waiting for my Oscar, that "so help me God" speech was powerful stuff, especially when paired with the imitation bowl cut), and when our confirmation class went to see LUTHER: THE MOVIE (okay, it's just called Luther but it's way more effective in all caps and with a colon), Colin Keyser dumped an entire jumbo tub of popcorn on my head. 14-year-old boys are AWESOME.

Looking good, you portly iconoclast, you.