Monday, June 21, 2010

Let's Talk About Sex, Baby

As mentioned a few posts ago, my trip to the MoMA was kind of SIKE absolutely a bust. That's because the MoMA does not have a Torpedo Tit Catsuit:

Last weekend, Laurie came into town and graced me with her presence, and we decided to hit up a place we had both been dying to visit, the Museum of Sex (we nicknamed it the Museum of Oh Wow, Who Knew?). This museum was a) fantastic and b) not for the faint of heart. The first exhibit, Action, featured the history of pornography, and was a small room that just played, well, porn. The screens were both on the walls and the floor, so the awkward option of walking around looking at your feet pretending you weren't interested did not present itself. Instead, it was a decision between gay sex or BDSM. Fortunately, Laurie and I are not shy when it comes to this sort of subject matter, and I can say that they only thing that made us raise an eyebrow was the people with balloon fetishes:

People who are turned on by balloons experience arousal both from the association with latex, which makes sense, but also the anticipation of the bursting of the balloon. There was video, shown above, of people just blowing up balloons, which seems harmlessly non-sexual, but to each their own. Also featured in the fetish section were feeders and gainers, in which the former becomes turned on by watching the latter eat, and will often keep the gainer around simply to watch them consume food and grow larger. I was thinking that if this whole "non-profit work" thing doesn't work out, I could make bank as a gainer. Are you kidding me? I can eat two Chipotle burritos in one sitting. Easiest. Job. Ever.

The best exhibit, though, was Rubbers: The Life, History, and Struggle of the Condom:

Yay, it's Laurie! Anyways, my first reaction was, "What condom struggle? The Thirty Years Condom War? The Condom Reformation? Condoms' Liberation?" Well, ask and ye shall receive:

Oh. Oh, wow. WOW. That looks...awful. How is that pleasant for either party? Swedish condoms look much more approachable, and dare I say, cute:

Korean condoms, we learned, in another Oh Wow, Who Knew Moment, are hopelessly lost in translation:

They sold them at the MOS store, which was awesome, by the way, but how can you expect something to prevent children when it can't even spell "melon" correctly, you know?

MOS has the right idea. Also, if you don't think Laurie and I went to Chipotle for a post-museum lunch, you have another think coming. Laurie, if I found out you recorded me eating a burrito to post on a feeders/gainers site, I'm going to be pissed. Anyways, here are some more Who Knew, Oh No, and Huh, Cool moments:

RealDolls kind of freak me out. There are pictures of Laurie and I getting...grabby, but they are available on a request-only basis/Facebook/not on this blog, sorry not sorry. We were gentle, though.

There was a lot of glass dildo (spellcheck does not recognize "dildo" as a word, bizarre) art at the MOS, but the title of this one kind of made me squirm. "Ham Blossom." Ham is really gross. Now I'm thinking of like, sandwich meat, and it's no good.

Wamp wamp, Catholic Church.


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